We had
been to a picnic last week. It was a nature trail with different adventure
activities for big kids and adults. My daughter wanted to do the rope way
activity but we weren’t sure if she would be allowed given the age and height
restrictions for the rope way. Once we were there we were told she had just the
exact minimum height and that required an adult to accompany her. So I signed
up with my daughter for the rope way activity.
The
activity is spread over a wide area with metal cables and ropes connecting tree
to tree. The cables were maybe about 15 to 20 feet above the ground, and once
up, the only places where we could comfortably stand were the wooden planks
which circled the strong tree branches. We had to put on a safety harness which
ran from shoulder to waist. We had 2 safety belts one end of each tied to the harness
and the other end had a special hook which we would latch to the metal cables as
we moved along. We were given a demo and instructions and I was asked to
follow my daughter so that I could help her if required. Once we were up, we
were pretty much on our own unless we called for help.
We choose
a path which was completely empty. Each section between the trees had different
types of hanging planks and seem to require an increasing skill. We made through each of the section and finally came to a tree which had
only 2 metal cables connecting to the next tree. The next tree was about 20
feet away. The 2 metal cables were one above the other with a gap of maybe 4
feet. Essentially it was a tight rope walk with our safety belts latched to the
top metal cable. My daughter asked me if she can go and I told her to go ahead.
I helped her latch the safety belts to the top metal cable and guided her to
walk on the lower metal cable. She had to stretch and hold the top cable and started
walking on the lower metal cable which was about 15-20 feet above the ground.
When she
had walked for about 5 feet, I suddenly realized what I had put her to. She was
actually walking on a cable which was maybe 20mm (2 cm) in
diameter holding a similar cable over her head. The 2 safety belts were latched
but they were not for supporting her. They would only hold her if God forbid
she slipped. I almost froze thinking about it. My entire life flashed in front
of me at that moment; the first time I held her in the hospital when she was
born, the time I walked her to school,.… I was praying as I watched her every
step on that cable. Once in a while she would ask me if she was doing alright
and I had to gather courage to even sound normal and tell her she was doing
great. A small crowd had gathered below watching her as she walked on the cable.
She finally reached the other tree and I heaved a relief thanking God for
ensuring she did not miss a step.
It
has been almost 5 days but I am still not able to get past that day. The steps
she took as she walked still flashes in front of my eyes. I have been asking
one question to myself – How did my 7 year old walk on a cable 20 feet above
the ground? She did not walk because she had done it earlier or because she
knew how to do it.
The
only possible answer I have is – She had walked because no one told her she could not do it.
As I think
about this answer, maybe, if there is anything stopping our kids from achieving
what they dream, its parents like me. How many times haven’t I stopped my kids
from doing something just because I have not done it or someone had told me not
to do it? I still sometimes feel it was foolishness of me, but if I had stopped
her that day, maybe she would never have found courage to do what she did. Kids
stop not because they cannot do something but because someone tells them they
cannot do it.
This
has been probably the biggest parenting lesson I have learnt.
PS –
I followed my daughter and walked on that cable holding the top cable, exactly
how my daughter had done. I know I had not walked on that cable for the thrill
of it. I had walked on that cable only because all I wanted to do at that
moment was to hold my daughter.
~Narendra V Joshi
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