Sunday, July 05, 2020

Words of encouragement



My kids watched an animation movie of a monster in the closet. After the movie, my elder one looked okay but my 5-year-old seemed a little jittery to go to his room. He came to me asked if I could put his blanket and be with him till he sleeps. He wanted me to tell him a story and put him to sleep.
I followed him to his room. He got into his bed and I helped him pull his blanket. I slept next to him and started patting his forehead to put him to sleep. Every few moments, he would open his eyes look at me and stare at the closet. Finally, he asked if I could close the closet door. I closed the closet door and slept next to him again patting his head. He seemed a little relaxed after I had closed the closet door.

I felt I should give him some words of encouragement for him to overcome his fear. 

Me: You know, there are no monsters. It’s all only in the movies. There are no monsters and ghosts in real life.

My son opened his eyes and looked at me. I asked him to close his eyes and sleep continuing to pat his head.

Me: You remember that superhero movie we watched? Have you seen any superhero flying outside? No right? Same way. There are no ghosts or monsters or superheroes. It’s all only in the movies.
My son: Yes, I know

This was encouraging. He opened his eyes again and looked at me.

Me: You are a brave kid. Look at yourself. You are only 5 but you sleep alone. If there is really such thing as a monster, you can fight it all by yourself.

My son: Can I really do that? (Now he was excited)
Me: Sure you can. Who will protect your sister and mama and papa if a monster really comes?
My son: So I can fight like a superhero?

I nodded my head.

My son: But I don’t have a wand nor can I fly.
Me: You are brave and you don’t need a wand nor you need to fly to fight the monster.

His eyes were now wide open and there was a new found courage showing on his face. I felt proud having instilled courage and confidence in my son.

My son: Papa, are you scared to sleep alone?
Me: No I am not. I am the papa of the bravest boy. Why will I be scared?
My son: Then why do you always sleep next to mama?

I went blank.  All my thoughts of courage fell flat. I looked at his face and he was waiting for me to answer but no answer came up in my head.

My son: Or is it, you sleep next to mama because mama is scared?

I was tempted to say “Yes” (actually SHOUT Yes) but stopped myself. I did not want to lie to him. And even if I did lie now, just to answer his question he will figure it out when he asks his mama tomorrow, and she denies. I didn’t want to set a bad example to him that his papa lies.
I was in a dilemma. I was thinking what to answer.

My son: Papa; is mama scared? Is that why she sleeps next to you?

Me: Ah.. Err… (I had no answer. I had to change the topic and FAST)

Me: Sleep now please. It is late. You want to come walking with me tomorrow evening right? You have to sleep now, else you will be all tired and you will not be able to walk.

I was pretty much silent from that point on. No more encouraging thoughts or words popped in my head. I continued patting him until he fell asleep. Knowing him, I am sure he will ask me this same question tomorrow or some other time until he gets an answer.

I had walked into my sons’ room to allay his worries and fill him with confidence. I walked out of his room a worried man.


~Narendra V Joshi


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