We had been to a friend’s place
the other day. My friend and I stood outside his house talking. A neighbor of
my friend who also happens to be our common friend saw us and joined. We 3
stood outside and spoke for some time until I got ready to leave. I bid them
both goodbye when this common friend said “I am sorry, I could not call you
into our house. Our house is dirty. But let’s definitely meet sometime”. I was
not expecting him to invite me and did not know how to react. The way his
facial expression changed when he said “our house is dirty” was enough for me
to believe his every word. I looked at my friend and he too made an expression
which told me this common friend was telling the truth.
Two parallel thoughts raced
through my mind at that moment.
My first thought was a kind of
appreciation for this common friend for his honesty. He could have been quiet, or,
if he really wanted to say something, he could have given some other reason.
But not this guy. Here was an honest person who had put out the real situation.
He did not want to call me because his house was dirty. I had a deep sense of
appreciation for his good thoughts and his honesty.
The other thought in my mind
was a little different. Though I had believed what he said, I was almost
forcing my mind to think that he wanted to purposely avoid me and it had
nothing to do with his house. I had a line of questions in my mind, which were
forcing me to think otherwise. If his house was really dirty as he had said,
how was he even living in that dirty house?
With everything going on in my
mind, I didn’t say anything but just bid goodbye to them and started back home.
The incident however kept playing at the back of
my mind for several hours. I had a kind of appreciation for his honesty. At the
same time I was appalled at how he and his family lived in a dirty place. Topping
all this was the affirming expression my friend had, which told me this was a
more common scenario in this common friends place.
But again, what could I do? If
there is someone who has to think, it is that common friend who should think
and act. Or maybe my friend, his neighbor, should advice this common friend.
After a lot of
thinking, I felt I had an advice, from my own experience, for this common
friend. Honesty is a good policy. But knowing when to open your honest mouth
and when to keep it shut is the best policy.
~Narendra V
Joshi
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