Filling the empty space

I was walking to my car in the parking lot the other evening, when a person came running to me. He pointed his finger in one direction of the parking lot and spoke something in Spanish of which I only understood the first word Senor. He was almost gasping for breath as he spoke. I tried to tell him I do not understand Spanish but he just would not stop. He kept talking non-stop pointing and looking in one direction. I think he was not finding his car or had lost his car, or maybe he was in an emergency and wanted a ride somewhere. For a moment I thought something had happened to my car, but then my car was in a different part of the parking lot from where he was pointing to. Anyway none of his talking made sense to me. After nearly a full one or two minutes of talking, he finally stopped talking and looked at me for an answer. Unfortunately all I could say was I do not speak Spanish and did not understand anything.

He muttered something giving me a stern look and walked away. I know I couldn’t help him, but again what else could I have done in that situation? I would have told him the very first moment that I do not understand Spanish if he had given me one chance, but he kept talking non-stop. I felt sorry for whatever situation he was in and hoped he would take our conversation as a learning experience to first ask the next person he meets, if he/she spoke Spanish before explaining his problem.

The whole incident kept playing in my mind even after I was on the road. If only he had stopped to take a breath and listened to me, the entire situation would have rolled out different. I felt maybe I should have gone back to him and asked him if he was in an emergency or at least try to understand what he was into. I was deep in my thoughts when I had this sudden brain wave. Maybe this situation was a learning experience for me too; an eye opener. Inadvertently even I may be doing the same when I am in a hurry. I talk so much, maybe non-stop, that I do not give the other person an opportunity to talk. It reminded me of a professor from my college days who would take every question slowly as if he is trying to chew on them, and would give a thoughtful answer. Maybe he was not interested to prove anything and so he did not have to be quick with his response. But as I think of it, the empty space he left between our question and his answer was adding a unique value.

As I thought about all this, I felt it was time I too cultivate this habit in me, if I don’t have it already. Maybe not just me but a lot of other people too. There is a need to focus on stopping the urge to talk, the urge to fill that empty space. We need to learn to live with that momentary empty space.

But, the empty space cannot be empty for a long time. It has to be filled soon.

Again, the empty space should not be there always. Sometimes, with some people, the empty space might actually become a time waste.

After all this confusion, I came to a conclusion. The empty space is others problem, not mine to resolve. I am good the way I am, unless somebody tells me otherwise :).

~Narendra V Joshi

The pollen river

I have an allergy for tree pollen and suffer every year for about 2 weeks during spring. The allergy medicine is effective only until afternoon or early evening, and comes with a warning not to exceed the daily dosage. So I suffer from the allergy symptoms for at least a couple of nights during the allergy season.

This time too I suffered with my allergies when spring started. When I was in my first week of allergy, it rained heavily one day. The rain started in the evening and continued well into the night. The water flowing on the street looked like a green river due to the pollen. I was happy that all the pollen was gone and was looking forward for an allergy free next day until the symptoms showed up again.

It has been more than a week now without allergies and it looks like I am past my allergy season for this year.

Jotted down my experience of those 2 allergy weeks in a few words.

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My eyes were red and throat was dry;

The pollen from the trees was making me cry.

I would sit up at night with a shortness of breath;

It looked like my allergies was beating me to death.

 

Then it rained one night for my swollen eyes to meet;

That green river of pollen which flowed down the street.

It was a heartfelt relief, and my joy knew no bound;

Felt as it my life took a merry turn around.

 

My morning started on a cheerful note;

And I looked to end the day on a serene quote.

Until I sneezed and wiped the tears off my eyes;

Realized that pollen had engulfed me for life.

 

~Narendra V Joshi

What comes with Age

My wife was putting our daughter Akshara to sleep the other day, when Akshara told us she did not like being a kid. She wanted to become a big girl. That way mama and papa will allow her to watch her princess cartoons for long. She could play in the playground with her friends all day and doesn’t have to worry about homework.

I took some of the words Akshara used, to put this poem together. The first 2 paras are what she told me and the last 2 are what I wanted to tell her.

You are big, you are strong;
If I am like you, nothing can go wrong.
I can eat, I can sleep, I can play at my will;
With mama cool, I can relax and chill. 

I can jump on the bed or dance for a song;
I can watch my cartoons all day long.
I will have no homework, no assignments to think upon;
Just friends and playground, in a minute I am gone.

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The life of a parent is the hardest it can be;
Balancing every minute is the only secret key.
Cartoons and princess stories are the only channels we can see;
Juggling diapers and homework, we just one busy bee. 

We worry about our careers and taxes and fees;
And of diabetes and cholesterol and those million allergies.
None of these worries were with us when we were born;
The age picked them on way, for us to carry along. 

~Narendra V Joshi  

Free advice

I was at the cafeteria table eating my lunch. It was a four chair table and I was the only person occupying it. My pollen allergy had worsened. My eyes were watery and had turned red. I was constantly wiping my eyes as I eat my food.

I was probably eating my fourth or fifth spoon when a gentleman tapped on my table. He showed the empty chair opposite to me with a questioning “May I?” look. I asked him to go ahead and he settled into the chair. I continued eating my food without a word. He started eating his food looking at me every once in a while as if trying to strike a conversation.

After a few minutes, he asked ‘allergies?’ I said ‘yeah.. bad one’.

Gentleman – It has been one of the worst allergy season this time.

Me – Yes I think

Gentleman – Did you take any medication? You can pick some good ones over the counter too.

Me – Yes I did. I have taken medication.

Gentleman – Which one did you take?

I told him the name of the medicine I had taken. He said the one I had taken was not effective and I should try a different one. He gave me some names and said some cause drowsiness while some are good for day time.

Gentleman – Hey, Sorry I did not introduce myself. My name is …..

He said his name but I didn’t catch any part of it. Maybe it was my allergies; my head was kind of heavy and stuffed and I couldn’t think properly. I smiled and gave him my name.

Gentleman – I am just curious.. Are you a vegetarian?

Me – Yes

Gentleman – do you at least eat eggs?

Me – No, I do not.

Gentleman – if you do not eat meat or eggs how do you get your proteins?

Me (smiling) – I buy it online. My card gives me a 5% cash back on that.  

He laughed at my answer. I meant it funny, but still felt sorry for what I had said and thought of apologizing to him. I was still thinking, when – 

Gentleman – Do you know, many people do not consider milk as vegetarian? If milk is vegetarian, then eggs are vegetarian too.

Me – ok.

Gentleman – Let me tell you something funny. Do you eat eggplant? Brinjal? Raw Brinjal tastes like fish.

I didn’t know what to say. He then told me of many different vegetables which either look like or feel like or taste like Chicken or fish or other meats. I had told him I am a vegetarian, yet he was telling me all this. I don’t know what joy he was deriving out of telling me about vegetables which look or taste like meat. All my thoughts of apologizing to him evaporated. How can somebody be so insensitive?

Soon I finished my lunch while he continued to talk. I packed my stuff and got ready to leave.

Me – You seem to know a lot of things.

Gentleman – Yes. When you start eating different foods, you will compare and you will know too.

Me – You should start a consulting firm.

Gentleman – Me? Why?

Me (smiling) – You should charge people instead of giving free advice. You might make money.

He just stared at me. I got up, said good bye to him smiling and walked away.

 

~Narendra V Joshi

The snow blanket

We had about 6 to 10 inches of snow in our city last night. The snow had covered everything and it was a beautiful sight this morning. The temperature remained mostly below freezing throughout the day giving no chance for the snow to melt. People played in the snow the whole day. What looked like a fine blanket in the morning now looks like a heap of dirt. 

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It looked like a blanket with tangled weaves,

The barren trees now filled with white flowers and leaves.

The snow had covered everything in sight,

Except for the sky and the sun shining bright. 

The blanket stayed even as the day grew,

People flocked to capture the mesmerizing view.

The mounds and the snowman soon dotted the trampled path,

As the kids hurled snowballs with blissful wrath. 

Only the remains of the blanket showed as the dusk set,

The broken snowman was now left to forget.

What was left of the blanket was still bright and white,

But pickled and trotted under the peoples might.

 

~Narendra V Joshi

Merry Christmas

The cycle of life

Our son Anish is now 5 months old. He recently started to roll on his stomach and pushes himself around a little bit. From the days of even barely opening his eyes, he now winks and smiles when we talk to him.

The last few years seem to have gone really fast. Akshara is already 5 years old. Very soon there will be a time when my kids will venture out of my shadow to build their own destiny. When I think of all this, my father comes to my mind. He would have gone thru all this and now it’s my turn.

This is for my son Anish!

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He arrived as our second bundle of joy,   

That merry face made him an instant wonder boy.
With clinched fists and deep shut eyes,     
He looked like me in a smaller guise.

The arrival created quite a flurry,

Spinning our lives and filling it with merry.
Those joyous moments as we anticipate his moves,
A wink, a smile, for any growing up cues.                    

There soon will be a time when the kids move from my guise,                                        
To take on the world with their own grit, charm and wise.
I will step on the side walk, support and guide their way,
Like my father did, when I started my day.

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~Narendra V Joshi