I feel I am becoming irritatingly inquisitive about data/information these days. It’s probably the frequent bombardment of sensitive data handling tips and insights which have lead to these adverse affects. I got into the office bus this morning and occupied my favorite aisle seat. My neighbor was engrossed in the morning newspaper and I happened to read the headlines as I occupied my seat. It was not like I made a conscious attempt to read; the bold lines just flew through my eyes. This made me think.
Is reading a newspaper not bought by me, an act of violation of the publisher’s or the new owner’s right?
Though it might not be like an illegal copy/download of songs and videos; it might still amount to use of printed information in part or whole without the prior consent of the author or the publishers as you are not paying for it. In short it might be some form of piracy, and piracy hurts. You might argue that the contents of a newspaper are actually generic and there cannot be any copyright on news; the fact that newspapers also carry editorials and articles will force a rethink. The authors or owners in this case will be the newspaper publication group who stand to lose. Given the short life span of a daily newspaper, every unsold copy is a loss (let’s discount the salvage value of paper from the scope of this blog). Another point is that, it’s mostly the headlines and pictures that most go through, unless the news bit is of interest. Considering that the headlines and pictures are more prominent and visible from a distance, there is little need for an extra effort to gather them. Also, there are people who are only interested in the sports or in the crime beat section, who would satisfy themselves with a quick peep and will not bother to buy a newspaper. So I think, reading a newspaper not bought by me, might actually be a violation of either the publishers or the new owners (person who bought the newspaper) right.
But again, a newspaper is actually available on the public domain. Until an author or a company is awarded the rights on their asset, the asset on a public domain can be used by anybody. Maybe it is the design and layout of the newspaper which the company will hold rights on and not the actual content. If at all some proprietary material is published, the owners will have to take enough precautions by providing a legal box or a copyright symbol or something. They cannot put words highlighted in bold and display it in public and expect nobody other than the buyer to read it. If they are doing that, it might be really to attract customers because a strong customer base will in turn help them augment their revenues by attracting advertisers. The buyer of the newspaper on his part has to keep it out of public view or should take precautions to make sure that no one else reads the newspaper he has bought. He cannot expect privacy while displaying/reading it in public. So maybe reading a newspaper not bought by me, might not be a violation of either the publishers or the new owners (person who bought the newspaper) right.
Even though I could think of an “against” argument for every “for” argument, I am still not very convinced. Probably it’s my lack of knowledge on information security, which is to be blamed.
~Narendra V Joshi
Friday, June 12, 2009
Sunday, June 07, 2009
A Friday evening
It was more than 20 minutes since the bus had moved an inch. Friday evenings were always bad and today was no different. It had been a hot afternoon and the inside of the (filled) bus was warmer than outside. He was in a habit of coming and leaving early on Fridays. But today, he was in the evening bus though he was early in office. Everyone in the bus; his colleagues and coworkers appeared to be in their own world. A few were chatting while the majority were engrossed in the evening newspaper or had their ear phones with FM radio on. A few were motionless and gazing outside the window and he was one among them.
A tiny drop of sweat rolled down his forehead and slowly disappeared in his eyebrows. He was deep in thought and continued gazing outside the window. He showed no intent to wipe his moist forehead. Every now and then he would unlock his cell phone and check if he had missed a call or a message.
Things had been rather bad in his company in the earlier two quarters. Profits were shrinking and new work orders were becoming far and few. Like most other businesses his company was also cutting costs and most measures seemed trivial except for a few which had drawn criticism from the employees. None of the exercises had really made an impact. Then, there were rumors of layoffs and the most wide spread among them was that the layoffs were happening only on Friday evenings. The chosen employees were called and were asked never to return. Though he had never himself come across anybody who was sent home, a Friday evening telephone meeting request from his manager had been enough to send shivers down his spine.
The sudden flashing lights of the ambulance, struck in the traffic next to his bus, shook him alert. The siren of the ambulance was not on but the flashing lights had been turned on. “Poor guy”, he said to himself, as he looked at the ambulance, even though he could not see anyone inside. His thoughts had changed direction and he was now thinking about the unseen patient inside the ambulance. He tried to look around to check if there was a way the ambulance could be steered into the opposite lane; but all the lanes were jammed. “Really unfortunate”, he said to himself as he slid back in his seat closing his eyes.
The sounds in the bus suddenly seemed incoherent. He could see people around confused. They were all saying something. He looked around and was in a totally different place. It was dark everywhere except for some flashing lights next to him. He could feel the pull at his shirt and looked down to see his manager struggling on the floor. He wasn’t sure what had happened but could see people trying to lift his manager towards the flashing lights. There were too many people around……….
A vigorous shake suddenly shook him awake. It was actually his cell phone vibrating with an incoming message. He unlocked his cell phone to read the message. It was a message from his manager. The message read “Meeting has been postponed to Tuesday morning. Happy weekend!”. He looked around and could see that his bus was in the same place where it was when he dozed off. The flashing lights of the ambulance showed the smile on his face; A smile, first time since afternoon.
~ Narendra V Joshi
A tiny drop of sweat rolled down his forehead and slowly disappeared in his eyebrows. He was deep in thought and continued gazing outside the window. He showed no intent to wipe his moist forehead. Every now and then he would unlock his cell phone and check if he had missed a call or a message.
Things had been rather bad in his company in the earlier two quarters. Profits were shrinking and new work orders were becoming far and few. Like most other businesses his company was also cutting costs and most measures seemed trivial except for a few which had drawn criticism from the employees. None of the exercises had really made an impact. Then, there were rumors of layoffs and the most wide spread among them was that the layoffs were happening only on Friday evenings. The chosen employees were called and were asked never to return. Though he had never himself come across anybody who was sent home, a Friday evening telephone meeting request from his manager had been enough to send shivers down his spine.
The sudden flashing lights of the ambulance, struck in the traffic next to his bus, shook him alert. The siren of the ambulance was not on but the flashing lights had been turned on. “Poor guy”, he said to himself, as he looked at the ambulance, even though he could not see anyone inside. His thoughts had changed direction and he was now thinking about the unseen patient inside the ambulance. He tried to look around to check if there was a way the ambulance could be steered into the opposite lane; but all the lanes were jammed. “Really unfortunate”, he said to himself as he slid back in his seat closing his eyes.
The sounds in the bus suddenly seemed incoherent. He could see people around confused. They were all saying something. He looked around and was in a totally different place. It was dark everywhere except for some flashing lights next to him. He could feel the pull at his shirt and looked down to see his manager struggling on the floor. He wasn’t sure what had happened but could see people trying to lift his manager towards the flashing lights. There were too many people around……….
A vigorous shake suddenly shook him awake. It was actually his cell phone vibrating with an incoming message. He unlocked his cell phone to read the message. It was a message from his manager. The message read “Meeting has been postponed to Tuesday morning. Happy weekend!”. He looked around and could see that his bus was in the same place where it was when he dozed off. The flashing lights of the ambulance showed the smile on his face; A smile, first time since afternoon.
~ Narendra V Joshi
Sunday, February 01, 2009
The lady in the bus
My company bus starts at Deepanjali Nagar and goes via Banashankari, BTM layout and silk board before reaching the office. I get in at Banashankari and normally it will take close to about one and half hours to reach my office in the morning and close to 2 hours in the evening to reach back home. Since I get in close to the starting point of the bus I have an advantage to choose the choicest seat in the bus. And having travelled in the same bus from some months now, I usually occupy a window seat in the second row which keeps my journey uninterrupted. The movement of the people who get in at later stops disturbs the people who have occupied the aisle seat. Once I am in the bus I sleep for most part of the journey.
It was no different this morning except that when I got into the bus I found my usual place already occupied. I did not want to move to the rear of the bus and so occupied the aisle seat in the second row and as usual dozed off. Every now and then I could sense the movement of people towards the rear seats and by the time the bus reached silk board I was again fully awake. The bus was full by that point when a lady got into the bus and started searching for a seat. Normally, people who get into the bus at that stop and do not find a seat, will get down and wait for another bus as most of our company buses have to ply via that stop to reach the office. But this lady did not get down from the bus and stood in between the first and the second row. It takes about 15 minutes to reach the office from that point.
I wondered if I have to give up my seat for the lady. It will not be courteous of me to sit while a lady stands. I looked and saw most men seated around were either sleeping or were busy with the morning newspaper. So as long as you are ignorant that a lady is standing there is no need to feel bad about it. Pretend to be asleep and the gentlemanly world will not blame you. Moreover in a big city like Bangalore with a population of close to 8 million, you cannot expect everybody to behave in a true gentlemanly manner at all times. So in the true spirit of a daily long distance commuter I closed my eyes and pretended to be blissfully asleep upholding the values of an ignorant gentleman.
My eyes were closed but my mind was full of thoughts if I have to make way for the lady – ““What happened to those lessons of chivalry I have learnt? Have I forgotten them so soon? But I have to think of myself too. I commute close to three and half hours everyday. This lady might be spending hardly 30 to 45 minutes in the entire day. My need to be seated is more than hers. But would have I thought in the same way if my mother or my wife were standing? Wouldn’t have I offered the seat to them? If my mother or my wife were standing, yes, I would have, but here the scenario is different. Moreover I occupied this seat before her. I have all rights to sit. There is no rule which asks me to forgo my precious place. This is all true. If a guy was standing these thoughts would have been probably ok, unless he really needed to sit. But here, it’s a lady who is standing, and I should be giving up my place. Why should I give up? Aren’t there any other gentlemen sitting around? Guys who might have got into the bus one stop earlier to this lady, why can’t they give up? Also, many of them look senior than me. If seniors don't understand, it’s ok for me not to worry about it. Just because some guys around me are neglecting, is it correct on my part to think its ok? Don’t I have some basic courtesy? I understand the basic courtesy. Sometimes I have travelled standing till this very point, in the evening due to non availability of seats. Did anyone ever give up their seat for me? Just because no body ever offered me their seat, should I act in the same way? Can’t I take the first step and show the people around how a gentleman behaves? Ok I will offer my seat but let the lady not come to a conclusion that, she can get into a bus and somebody will offer her a seat. She has to check if a place is available and should also try to take another bus if one bus is full. But for today I will offer her my place. But let her stand till half way””
Once I had come to a conclusion that I will offer my seat, to the lady, half way, I waited to be very sure that it was 7.5 minutes since she had stepped into the bus. I did not want to open my eyes and check my watch as it would put me on the same stage as the other so called gentlemen sitting around me. When I was sure it was 7.5 minutes I opened my eyes and pretended to have been sleeping all the while. I looked around and to my dismay we were very close to the office, a minute or 2 away. It will be foolish of me to get up now and offer the seat to the lady. I had wasted close to 15 minutes thinking, only to realize that the entire exercise had turned futile. I looked around at the other gentlemen who had at least used the last 15 minutes fruitfully, sleeping or reading the newspaper. As we reached the office I got down the bus and decided never to think about this entire episode.
~Narendra V Joshi
It was no different this morning except that when I got into the bus I found my usual place already occupied. I did not want to move to the rear of the bus and so occupied the aisle seat in the second row and as usual dozed off. Every now and then I could sense the movement of people towards the rear seats and by the time the bus reached silk board I was again fully awake. The bus was full by that point when a lady got into the bus and started searching for a seat. Normally, people who get into the bus at that stop and do not find a seat, will get down and wait for another bus as most of our company buses have to ply via that stop to reach the office. But this lady did not get down from the bus and stood in between the first and the second row. It takes about 15 minutes to reach the office from that point.
I wondered if I have to give up my seat for the lady. It will not be courteous of me to sit while a lady stands. I looked and saw most men seated around were either sleeping or were busy with the morning newspaper. So as long as you are ignorant that a lady is standing there is no need to feel bad about it. Pretend to be asleep and the gentlemanly world will not blame you. Moreover in a big city like Bangalore with a population of close to 8 million, you cannot expect everybody to behave in a true gentlemanly manner at all times. So in the true spirit of a daily long distance commuter I closed my eyes and pretended to be blissfully asleep upholding the values of an ignorant gentleman.
My eyes were closed but my mind was full of thoughts if I have to make way for the lady – ““What happened to those lessons of chivalry I have learnt? Have I forgotten them so soon? But I have to think of myself too. I commute close to three and half hours everyday. This lady might be spending hardly 30 to 45 minutes in the entire day. My need to be seated is more than hers. But would have I thought in the same way if my mother or my wife were standing? Wouldn’t have I offered the seat to them? If my mother or my wife were standing, yes, I would have, but here the scenario is different. Moreover I occupied this seat before her. I have all rights to sit. There is no rule which asks me to forgo my precious place. This is all true. If a guy was standing these thoughts would have been probably ok, unless he really needed to sit. But here, it’s a lady who is standing, and I should be giving up my place. Why should I give up? Aren’t there any other gentlemen sitting around? Guys who might have got into the bus one stop earlier to this lady, why can’t they give up? Also, many of them look senior than me. If seniors don't understand, it’s ok for me not to worry about it. Just because some guys around me are neglecting, is it correct on my part to think its ok? Don’t I have some basic courtesy? I understand the basic courtesy. Sometimes I have travelled standing till this very point, in the evening due to non availability of seats. Did anyone ever give up their seat for me? Just because no body ever offered me their seat, should I act in the same way? Can’t I take the first step and show the people around how a gentleman behaves? Ok I will offer my seat but let the lady not come to a conclusion that, she can get into a bus and somebody will offer her a seat. She has to check if a place is available and should also try to take another bus if one bus is full. But for today I will offer her my place. But let her stand till half way””
Once I had come to a conclusion that I will offer my seat, to the lady, half way, I waited to be very sure that it was 7.5 minutes since she had stepped into the bus. I did not want to open my eyes and check my watch as it would put me on the same stage as the other so called gentlemen sitting around me. When I was sure it was 7.5 minutes I opened my eyes and pretended to have been sleeping all the while. I looked around and to my dismay we were very close to the office, a minute or 2 away. It will be foolish of me to get up now and offer the seat to the lady. I had wasted close to 15 minutes thinking, only to realize that the entire exercise had turned futile. I looked around at the other gentlemen who had at least used the last 15 minutes fruitfully, sleeping or reading the newspaper. As we reached the office I got down the bus and decided never to think about this entire episode.
~Narendra V Joshi
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Random thoughts
After going through the long winding queue into the packed theater I finally watched the bond movie which is about everything except bond. If you have noticed, since the previous installment the movies seem to be “unbonding” the legendry hero, Bond, James Bond. The producers might have a thousand reasons but for the mature audience it’s like showing the superman who can’t fly. The bond is shown all but unsophisticated. If, not watching a bond movie evolves a kind of guilt, watching these “unbond” movies is a different guilt. It would have been soothing if these movies were for a different hero and not bond. Calling it bond destroys everything.
There is a totally different kind of guilt you feel when you do exercise/not exercise your fundamental right of voting. If you do not cast vote, you feel guilty for not exercising your right and if you do cast your vote, you feel guilty for having voted a hopeless politician to power. It’s a sort of a double whammy. Either way you are helpless. And the recent terrorist attack on Mumbai proved it right. The only thing most politicians did was to give the attack a political twist blaming different parties over it.
Even the insurance companies distanced themselves saying people killed in terrorist attacks are not covered by the insurance. Victims who are rich and well off can at least move on financially but the lower income section of the society suffer. It just reiterates the importance of asset creation for any family.
Have you noticed? The word asset can be broken into ASSET = ASS + E(a)T (pronounce as eat {past tense of eat}. Eat (pronounce as past tense of eat) means slap or beat in Kannada. So unless a person gets an “eat” on his behind, asset is not created. And in unfortunate cases when the insurance company distances and with no asset to bank on, the lower income section of the society have nothing to depend on.
I was watching a TV program on oral hygiene last week. I am not sure if there is any reason behind it or if it was just a coincidence but I noticed that majority of dentistry problems were for the teeth on the lower jaw. Maybe the germs and bacteria are pulled down to the lower jaw due to gravity or maybe its some kind of a fashion which affects teeth of lower jaw.
Actually taking GMAT and TOEFL exams were a sort of fashion statement during my college days. Talking of the GMAT score, 1100, 1250 etc was some sort of conversation starters those days. But college days were good. Bunking classes, going to movies and restaurants, scrambling for notes during the exam time were all simple memorable.
It’s getting late. Have to leave for work now. Looking ahead for yet another eventful day at work!
~Narendra V Joshi
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
And life goes on...
If some scientists are to be believed, I should not have been alive to write this blog nor should you be, to read this! The world was supposed to end this very day according to some scientists; September 10, 2008.
For the benefit of the late comers, a group of scientists in Europe have built a “Large Hadron Collider” (LHC) which was scheduled to be fired today. A beam of particles was to be circulated through this LHC which is housed in a 27 kms long underground tunnel. I first read about the protests from some scientists regarding this experiment before I actually read about this experiment. It’s like the driver realizing that the breaks of the car have failed after the accident! Per my understanding, as a part of the experiment, proton beams travelling in opposite directions at the speed of light are made to collide against each other. And this, as per the scientists conducting the experiment, will create the exact conditions after the Big-Bang (theory which explains the birth of our universe). The protests to this experiment was that it might create a huge black hole and will ultimately destroy the earth. (end of the world theory)
As I understand everything here we are talking about is just a theory. Universe was created after Big Bang, is a theory; so are the, 2 protons colliding at high speed to explain “mass”. Amidst all these theories is yet another theory of the world ending just around lunch today (the experiment was to be conducted around 12:30 PM IST). But a striking similarity between all these theories is, all these theories have been in vogue since a long time. I don’t want to deprive a scientist of his job by deciphering and explaining the birth of universe (!!), so I will stick with the comments, of world coming to an end theory, in this blog.
This is not the first time that the world was supposed to come to an end. The world was supposed to come to an end on 31st December, 1999 night. I was in my 4th semester engineering and was delighted that the world will come to an end before I have to take my Machine Drawing exam. My grandfather used to tell me of stories he had heard of the world coming to an end around 31st December, 1900 from his father. Since the world had survived that 1900 scare, he, to my sheer dismay was least bothered about this world coming to an end theory. Nevertheless, so popular was this world coming to an end on 31st December, 1999, that, at that time I remember all local newsletters and magazines had carried this as their first page article. But unfortunately after all this hype the world did not end and I had to study for my exams. This world coming to an end theory became popular yet again when the Tsunami struck some parts of the eastern coast of India in December 2004. Even this time people thronged the temples and prayer halls praying for salvation. Some stanch end of the world theory believers, withdrew all their savings from the banks to buy and enjoy desirables before they were to die. But the world survived the scare yet again.
As in most cases, there are people who actually benefit from such theories. For them, their world will really end on the predicted day (world of opportunities - at least for the time being). The soothsayers and astrologers who suggest prayers and methods to appease God, charging an inflated visitation rate and the retailers and marketers who make use of this God sent opportunity to fill their coffers by selling unwanted products to the clueless customers. And there are scientists and critics who thwart these same clueless customers for falling prey to such stupid theories with the media making fast bucks covering all this. Its back to square one the next morning with the world still alive and kicking the common man, and the benefactors looking forward for the next end of the world theory.
If the world was to really end today, I did not want to die on an empty stomach. So, though I wanted to write and post the blog before the end time, I actually got a chance to write after the lapse of the supposed end time. So, first, let us congratulate ourselves for having made it through and look forward to brace ourselves for the next end of the world day.
~Narendra V Joshi
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Arranged marriage dot not calm
I, my wife and my parents have been searching for a suitable bride for my younger cousin brother and the search has entered the fourth month now. We started on a war footing way back in March but have not tasted success yet. This blog is based on my experience and understanding of the prevailing matrimonial scenario.
To my understanding there are no real accepted guidelines for the arranged marriage process, except that it’s a marriage solemnized after the families of the bride and the groom deem it fit. Since centuries this has been the most common way of marriages. However the newer and the fast growing trend of Love marriage, has made arranged marriage a default kind. Love marriage is a kind where it’s not the families, who decide, but it is the boy and the girl who decide that they should get married. The families might or might not approve of such a union. If the families approve of such a union then it’s deemed a Love Arranged marriage. The obvious part however is that a boy/girl should fall in love before the families can actually approve or disapprove. It is really not the subject matter of this blog as to how can someone fall in love but the point to note here is, arranged marriage is the default if somebody has not fallen in love but still wants to get married. Strong focus on education and career, or shy nature of the individual can be among the thousand different reasons why an individual might have to choose the default route of arranged marriage.
So after having discussed and concluded with my cousin that he too is taking the arranged marriage route, we started the search with the 3 common criterions. The Horoscope of the bride and the groom should perfectly match. If the first one is satisfied, the other two are, the girl should be from a good family and should have decent education. As the first step of the search, my parents and my wife spread the word within our family and friends circle, if anybody knew of a family searching for a groom for their daughter. We also registered my younger brother’s profiles at all matrimonial bureaus we know and got to know of during the search process. The most common items in the marriage profile are the Horoscope, individuals name, Gothara (family tree details), Nakshtra (Star), Rashi (Star sign), education, contact details and his/her requirement of how the girl/boy should be.
We initially started our search in Bangalore and later sent copies of the profile to our relatives in cities outside Bangalore so that they can update it in the local matrimonial bureaus of that city. Whether the information is from matrimonial bureaus or if it’s from internet sites or if it’s simply from relatives and friends, one startling observation we have made is that, there seems to be a shortage of prospective brides. In almost every marriage bureau we searched, we noticed that if there were 10 files containing profiles of boys there were only 6-7 files containing profiles of girls. If we came across a girl’s profile whose horoscope matches with the boy, the chances of girl already married but the profile at the bureau not updated was 20-30%. I initially scratched it off as a mere coincidence but after talking with so many different people at these different bureaus, I am now thinking it actually might be a sad fact. During a recent visit to a matrimonial bureau, I overheard the conversation between a prospective groom and the counselor who was filing a profile. The boy answered all questions related to him, with great detail. When he was asked his requirement, i.e. how he expected the girl to be, he answered “Anything is fine”. A contrast to this becomes clear if you look at a prospective bride’s profile. Most girls seem to require/expect the boy to be a double graduate and the most common one being a bachelor’s degree in engineering and a master’s degree in management. If the girl is in the field of medicine, her expectation is no less than a surgeon or a high profile doctor. I also realized that I know many people who are of the same age as I am or even senior to me who are still bachelors. I am now sometimes forced to think that, maybe they are bachelors because they do not have a choice. However I am still not able to understand the reason for this problem. Is there really a shortage of girls? Or is it that the girls out there do not want to get married? I have read about the increasing gap between the number of boys to number of girls but is this the cause for this problem? I thank God that I am one of those lucky individuals who got arranged married without ever understanding the prevalent perils.
Arranged marriage has always been considered the safest, but now, even finding a bride seems difficult and marriage comes only after that. So one solution I can think is, instead of all this waiting, searching, disappointment in arranged marriages, love marriage seems a better option. Every boy, I think, should give the same importance to marriage as he gives to education and career, if he doesn’t want to take the risk of remaining a bachelor for life. Another potential solution for people who have already zeroed in on arranged marriage is to first select a girl looking for all other items on the list except for horoscope. Since it’s the horoscope which is the real horror, generate a new horoscope using one of those internet sites, synching it with the selected girl’s horoscope. Whatever might be the solution, arranged marriages no more seem to be an attractive process either for the parents or for the grooms themselves.
- Narendra V Joshi
To my understanding there are no real accepted guidelines for the arranged marriage process, except that it’s a marriage solemnized after the families of the bride and the groom deem it fit. Since centuries this has been the most common way of marriages. However the newer and the fast growing trend of Love marriage, has made arranged marriage a default kind. Love marriage is a kind where it’s not the families, who decide, but it is the boy and the girl who decide that they should get married. The families might or might not approve of such a union. If the families approve of such a union then it’s deemed a Love Arranged marriage. The obvious part however is that a boy/girl should fall in love before the families can actually approve or disapprove. It is really not the subject matter of this blog as to how can someone fall in love but the point to note here is, arranged marriage is the default if somebody has not fallen in love but still wants to get married. Strong focus on education and career, or shy nature of the individual can be among the thousand different reasons why an individual might have to choose the default route of arranged marriage.
So after having discussed and concluded with my cousin that he too is taking the arranged marriage route, we started the search with the 3 common criterions. The Horoscope of the bride and the groom should perfectly match. If the first one is satisfied, the other two are, the girl should be from a good family and should have decent education. As the first step of the search, my parents and my wife spread the word within our family and friends circle, if anybody knew of a family searching for a groom for their daughter. We also registered my younger brother’s profiles at all matrimonial bureaus we know and got to know of during the search process. The most common items in the marriage profile are the Horoscope, individuals name, Gothara (family tree details), Nakshtra (Star), Rashi (Star sign), education, contact details and his/her requirement of how the girl/boy should be.
We initially started our search in Bangalore and later sent copies of the profile to our relatives in cities outside Bangalore so that they can update it in the local matrimonial bureaus of that city. Whether the information is from matrimonial bureaus or if it’s from internet sites or if it’s simply from relatives and friends, one startling observation we have made is that, there seems to be a shortage of prospective brides. In almost every marriage bureau we searched, we noticed that if there were 10 files containing profiles of boys there were only 6-7 files containing profiles of girls. If we came across a girl’s profile whose horoscope matches with the boy, the chances of girl already married but the profile at the bureau not updated was 20-30%. I initially scratched it off as a mere coincidence but after talking with so many different people at these different bureaus, I am now thinking it actually might be a sad fact. During a recent visit to a matrimonial bureau, I overheard the conversation between a prospective groom and the counselor who was filing a profile. The boy answered all questions related to him, with great detail. When he was asked his requirement, i.e. how he expected the girl to be, he answered “Anything is fine”. A contrast to this becomes clear if you look at a prospective bride’s profile. Most girls seem to require/expect the boy to be a double graduate and the most common one being a bachelor’s degree in engineering and a master’s degree in management. If the girl is in the field of medicine, her expectation is no less than a surgeon or a high profile doctor. I also realized that I know many people who are of the same age as I am or even senior to me who are still bachelors. I am now sometimes forced to think that, maybe they are bachelors because they do not have a choice. However I am still not able to understand the reason for this problem. Is there really a shortage of girls? Or is it that the girls out there do not want to get married? I have read about the increasing gap between the number of boys to number of girls but is this the cause for this problem? I thank God that I am one of those lucky individuals who got arranged married without ever understanding the prevalent perils.
Arranged marriage has always been considered the safest, but now, even finding a bride seems difficult and marriage comes only after that. So one solution I can think is, instead of all this waiting, searching, disappointment in arranged marriages, love marriage seems a better option. Every boy, I think, should give the same importance to marriage as he gives to education and career, if he doesn’t want to take the risk of remaining a bachelor for life. Another potential solution for people who have already zeroed in on arranged marriage is to first select a girl looking for all other items on the list except for horoscope. Since it’s the horoscope which is the real horror, generate a new horoscope using one of those internet sites, synching it with the selected girl’s horoscope. Whatever might be the solution, arranged marriages no more seem to be an attractive process either for the parents or for the grooms themselves.
- Narendra V Joshi
Monday, February 04, 2008
The Crutches
The bus stopped on the barren village road blowing the dirt and dried leaves around. The driver got out and turned around to help the passenger get down. The crutches of the passenger came out first as he put his leg forward and positioned his arms on the crutches thanking the driver. He took a few steps forward as the bus moved, blowing the settled dust all around again.
The crutches seemed to fit him well as his sweaty hands moved them forward and his one leg followed to meet them. The country road lay in front of him with green fields on either side as he started threading the familiar path. He saw many familiar faces but continued without stopping. He finally stopped in front of a depleted structure which was once his home. Some parts of the wall and roof were still there, but the rest of the house lay completely burnt. Pictures and voices of his days in the village crossed his mind.
This was the place he was born and it was his village as he would often say. He worked at a farm which was passed on to him when his father died. He, his wife, his two year old son and his mother now stayed at the old house. His wife and sometimes his mother would help him in the field as any other typical family in the village. The villagers traveled to the city, for selling their produce and procuring resources, which was an hour’s distance from the village.
Though on the surface it looked a sleepy village, there was turbulence beneath. There had been a spike in naxal activity in the area. Rumors of shootings in nearby villages, sightings of armed men in their own village, posters and writings on the walls had all called for a formation of a village defense committee in which he was an active member. The committee members formed small groups, and the groups took turns to patrol the village after dusk. Though there never was an incident in their own village, the rumor was, someone in the village was secretly supporting the naxals and an attack was just around the corner.
On one such patrol, he and his associate had happened to overhear a conversation between a man from their village and some people whom they figured were naxals. They tried to raise an alarm but were spotted by the naxals who followed them into the village. He ran towards his house, shouting all the way trying to alert the villagers. His associate had run away in the other direction. He had managed to reach his house and lock the door behind him. The naxals who were close behind him locked his house from outside and had lit the house on fire.
A single drop of tear flowed down his cheek as he stood in the burnt house recalling the day which had changed his life. A part of the roof and the wall had collapsed on them as he tried to rescue his family from the fire and that was all he remembered of that day. He had regained conscious in the city hospital after 3 days in coma, only to find out that he had lost one leg, his wife and his mother in the fire. His associate who was with him on that fateful day was also killed. Only his son survived and was now looked after by the village headman and this was the reason he was in the village today. He had vowed to himself, never to set foot in the village or talk about what happened that day. He had never told anybody that the village headman was the person who was with the naxals. The very thought of his son, being cared by the same person who had killed his family, sent shivers down his spine. He had spent many sleepless nights in the hospital with nightmares of his son growing into a gun wielding leader of the naxals, setting houses on fire.
He started towards the village headman’s house. “No arguments, no confrontations”, he said to himself. He had planned this whole scene. He will take his son and settle at a place far away from this village. He would never discuss with his son as to how his mother had died. Very soon he reached the headman’s house. Contrary to his own, this house was big and beautiful. He went near the door to call out the headman when he saw his son for the first time in many days. Tears of happiness rolled down his cheeks as he saw the boy crawling around the room. It was a beautiful sight as he stood motionless with only love in his heart, wanting to hold his son, wanting to hold a part of himself. He tried to call out stretching his arms. The whole world blackened on him when he realized crutches were all, his hands could hold. The burden of his heart pulled him to the ground as he wept. He had got everything he wanted, only to lose it all the very next moment. Unaware of all this, the boy happily played with his expensive toys with his baby sounds filling the room. The headman’s wife was behind the boy feeding him with a silver spoon as he crawled all around. It was a beautiful sight from the swollen eyes of his father who lay outside crawling to position his crutches. Maybe the sound of the crutches caught the boy’s attention when he crawled to the door to look at the man with the crutches standing out. The man outside, got up and looked into those beautiful eyes. He just wanted to hold the baby but deep down inside he knew he will do the boy no good by taking him. He could never afford such expensive toys, feed him with a silver spoon or even provide for a decent life for the boy. All his nightmares seemed trivial now as he turned back to thread the dry path again.
~Narendra V Joshi
The crutches seemed to fit him well as his sweaty hands moved them forward and his one leg followed to meet them. The country road lay in front of him with green fields on either side as he started threading the familiar path. He saw many familiar faces but continued without stopping. He finally stopped in front of a depleted structure which was once his home. Some parts of the wall and roof were still there, but the rest of the house lay completely burnt. Pictures and voices of his days in the village crossed his mind.
This was the place he was born and it was his village as he would often say. He worked at a farm which was passed on to him when his father died. He, his wife, his two year old son and his mother now stayed at the old house. His wife and sometimes his mother would help him in the field as any other typical family in the village. The villagers traveled to the city, for selling their produce and procuring resources, which was an hour’s distance from the village.
Though on the surface it looked a sleepy village, there was turbulence beneath. There had been a spike in naxal activity in the area. Rumors of shootings in nearby villages, sightings of armed men in their own village, posters and writings on the walls had all called for a formation of a village defense committee in which he was an active member. The committee members formed small groups, and the groups took turns to patrol the village after dusk. Though there never was an incident in their own village, the rumor was, someone in the village was secretly supporting the naxals and an attack was just around the corner.
On one such patrol, he and his associate had happened to overhear a conversation between a man from their village and some people whom they figured were naxals. They tried to raise an alarm but were spotted by the naxals who followed them into the village. He ran towards his house, shouting all the way trying to alert the villagers. His associate had run away in the other direction. He had managed to reach his house and lock the door behind him. The naxals who were close behind him locked his house from outside and had lit the house on fire.
A single drop of tear flowed down his cheek as he stood in the burnt house recalling the day which had changed his life. A part of the roof and the wall had collapsed on them as he tried to rescue his family from the fire and that was all he remembered of that day. He had regained conscious in the city hospital after 3 days in coma, only to find out that he had lost one leg, his wife and his mother in the fire. His associate who was with him on that fateful day was also killed. Only his son survived and was now looked after by the village headman and this was the reason he was in the village today. He had vowed to himself, never to set foot in the village or talk about what happened that day. He had never told anybody that the village headman was the person who was with the naxals. The very thought of his son, being cared by the same person who had killed his family, sent shivers down his spine. He had spent many sleepless nights in the hospital with nightmares of his son growing into a gun wielding leader of the naxals, setting houses on fire.
He started towards the village headman’s house. “No arguments, no confrontations”, he said to himself. He had planned this whole scene. He will take his son and settle at a place far away from this village. He would never discuss with his son as to how his mother had died. Very soon he reached the headman’s house. Contrary to his own, this house was big and beautiful. He went near the door to call out the headman when he saw his son for the first time in many days. Tears of happiness rolled down his cheeks as he saw the boy crawling around the room. It was a beautiful sight as he stood motionless with only love in his heart, wanting to hold his son, wanting to hold a part of himself. He tried to call out stretching his arms. The whole world blackened on him when he realized crutches were all, his hands could hold. The burden of his heart pulled him to the ground as he wept. He had got everything he wanted, only to lose it all the very next moment. Unaware of all this, the boy happily played with his expensive toys with his baby sounds filling the room. The headman’s wife was behind the boy feeding him with a silver spoon as he crawled all around. It was a beautiful sight from the swollen eyes of his father who lay outside crawling to position his crutches. Maybe the sound of the crutches caught the boy’s attention when he crawled to the door to look at the man with the crutches standing out. The man outside, got up and looked into those beautiful eyes. He just wanted to hold the baby but deep down inside he knew he will do the boy no good by taking him. He could never afford such expensive toys, feed him with a silver spoon or even provide for a decent life for the boy. All his nightmares seemed trivial now as he turned back to thread the dry path again.
~Narendra V Joshi
GenAI for Work, Homework, and the Parenting Dilemma in the AI Age
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