Random thoughts

After going through the long winding queue into the packed theater I finally watched the bond movie which is about everything except bond. If you have noticed, since the previous installment the movies seem to be “unbonding” the legendry hero, Bond, James Bond. The producers might have a thousand reasons but for the mature audience it’s like showing the superman who can’t fly. The bond is shown all but unsophisticated. If, not watching a bond movie evolves a kind of guilt, watching these “unbond” movies is a different guilt. It would have been soothing if these movies were for a different hero and not bond. Calling it bond destroys everything.

There is a totally different kind of guilt you feel when you do exercise/not exercise your fundamental right of voting. If you do not cast vote, you feel guilty for not exercising your right and if you do cast your vote, you feel guilty for having voted a hopeless politician to power. It’s a sort of a double whammy. Either way you are helpless. And the recent terrorist attack on Mumbai proved it right. The only thing most politicians did was to give the attack a political twist blaming different parties over it.

Even the insurance companies distanced themselves saying people killed in terrorist attacks are not covered by the insurance. Victims who are rich and well off can at least move on financially but the lower income section of the society suffer. It just reiterates the importance of asset creation for any family.

Have you noticed? The word asset can be broken into ASSET = ASS + E(a)T (pronounce as eat {past tense of eat}. Eat (pronounce as past tense of eat) means slap or beat in Kannada. So unless a person gets an “eat” on his behind, asset is not created. And in unfortunate cases when the insurance company distances and with no asset to bank on, the lower income section of the society have nothing to depend on.

I was watching a TV program on oral hygiene last week. I am not sure if there is any reason behind it or if it was just a coincidence but I noticed that majority of dentistry problems were for the teeth on the lower jaw. Maybe the germs and bacteria are pulled down to the lower jaw due to gravity or maybe its some kind of a fashion which affects teeth of lower jaw.

Actually taking GMAT and TOEFL exams were a sort of fashion statement during my college days. Talking of the GMAT score, 1100, 1250 etc was some sort of conversation starters those days. But college days were good. Bunking classes, going to movies and restaurants, scrambling for notes during the exam time were all simple memorable.

It’s getting late. Have to leave for work now. Looking ahead for yet another eventful day at work!

~Narendra V Joshi

And life goes on...

If some scientists are to be believed, I should not have been alive to write this blog nor should you be, to read this! The world was supposed to end this very day according to some scientists; September 10, 2008.

For the benefit of the late comers, a group of scientists in Europe have built a “Large Hadron Collider” (LHC) which was scheduled to be fired today. A beam of particles was to be circulated through this LHC which is housed in a 27 kms long underground tunnel. I first read about the protests from some scientists regarding this experiment before I actually read about this experiment. It’s like the driver realizing that the breaks of the car have failed after the accident! Per my understanding, as a part of the experiment, proton beams travelling in opposite directions at the speed of light are made to collide against each other. And this, as per the scientists conducting the experiment, will create the exact conditions after the Big-Bang (theory which explains the birth of our universe). The protests to this experiment was that it might create a huge black hole and will ultimately destroy the earth. (end of the world theory)

As I understand everything here we are talking about is just a theory. Universe was created after Big Bang, is a theory; so are the, 2 protons colliding at high speed to explain “mass”. Amidst all these theories is yet another theory of the world ending just around lunch today (the experiment was to be conducted around 12:30 PM IST). But a striking similarity between all these theories is, all these theories have been in vogue since a long time. I don’t want to deprive a scientist of his job by deciphering and explaining the birth of universe (!!), so I will stick with the comments, of world coming to an end theory, in this blog.

This is not the first time that the world was supposed to come to an end. The world was supposed to come to an end on 31st December, 1999 night. I was in my 4th semester engineering and was delighted that the world will come to an end before I have to take my Machine Drawing exam. My grandfather used to tell me of stories he had heard of the world coming to an end around 31st December, 1900 from his father. Since the world had survived that 1900 scare, he, to my sheer dismay was least bothered about this world coming to an end theory. Nevertheless, so popular was this world coming to an end on 31st December, 1999, that, at that time I remember all local newsletters and magazines had carried this as their first page article. But unfortunately after all this hype the world did not end and I had to study for my exams. This world coming to an end theory became popular yet again when the Tsunami struck some parts of the eastern coast of India in December 2004. Even this time people thronged the temples and prayer halls praying for salvation. Some stanch end of the world theory believers, withdrew all their savings from the banks to buy and enjoy desirables before they were to die. But the world survived the scare yet again.

As in most cases, there are people who actually benefit from such theories. For them, their world will really end on the predicted day (world of opportunities - at least for the time being). The soothsayers and astrologers who suggest prayers and methods to appease God, charging an inflated visitation rate and the retailers and marketers who make use of this God sent opportunity to fill their coffers by selling unwanted products to the clueless customers. And there are scientists and critics who thwart these same clueless customers for falling prey to such stupid theories with the media making fast bucks covering all this. Its back to square one the next morning with the world still alive and kicking the common man, and the benefactors looking forward for the next end of the world theory.

If the world was to really end today, I did not want to die on an empty stomach. So, though I wanted to write and post the blog before the end time, I actually got a chance to write after the lapse of the supposed end time. So, first, let us congratulate ourselves for having made it through and look forward to brace ourselves for the next end of the world day.

~Narendra V Joshi

Arranged marriage dot not calm

I, my wife and my parents have been searching for a suitable bride for my younger cousin brother and the search has entered the fourth month now. We started on a war footing way back in March but have not tasted success yet. This blog is based on my experience and understanding of the prevailing matrimonial scenario.

To my understanding there are no real accepted guidelines for the arranged marriage process, except that it’s a marriage solemnized after the families of the bride and the groom deem it fit. Since centuries this has been the most common way of marriages. However the newer and the fast growing trend of Love marriage, has made arranged marriage a default kind. Love marriage is a kind where it’s not the families, who decide, but it is the boy and the girl who decide that they should get married. The families might or might not approve of such a union. If the families approve of such a union then it’s deemed a Love Arranged marriage. The obvious part however is that a boy/girl should fall in love before the families can actually approve or disapprove. It is really not the subject matter of this blog as to how can someone fall in love but the point to note here is, arranged marriage is the default if somebody has not fallen in love but still wants to get married. Strong focus on education and career, or shy nature of the individual can be among the thousand different reasons why an individual might have to choose the default route of arranged marriage.

So after having discussed and concluded with my cousin that he too is taking the arranged marriage route, we started the search with the 3 common criterions. The Horoscope of the bride and the groom should perfectly match. If the first one is satisfied, the other two are, the girl should be from a good family and should have decent education. As the first step of the search, my parents and my wife spread the word within our family and friends circle, if anybody knew of a family searching for a groom for their daughter. We also registered my younger brother’s profiles at all matrimonial bureaus we know and got to know of during the search process. The most common items in the marriage profile are the Horoscope, individuals name, Gothara (family tree details), Nakshtra (Star), Rashi (Star sign), education, contact details and his/her requirement of how the girl/boy should be.

We initially started our search in Bangalore and later sent copies of the profile to our relatives in cities outside Bangalore so that they can update it in the local matrimonial bureaus of that city. Whether the information is from matrimonial bureaus or if it’s from internet sites or if it’s simply from relatives and friends, one startling observation we have made is that, there seems to be a shortage of prospective brides. In almost every marriage bureau we searched, we noticed that if there were 10 files containing profiles of boys there were only 6-7 files containing profiles of girls. If we came across a girl’s profile whose horoscope matches with the boy, the chances of girl already married but the profile at the bureau not updated was 20-30%. I initially scratched it off as a mere coincidence but after talking with so many different people at these different bureaus, I am now thinking it actually might be a sad fact. During a recent visit to a matrimonial bureau, I overheard the conversation between a prospective groom and the counselor who was filing a profile. The boy answered all questions related to him, with great detail. When he was asked his requirement, i.e. how he expected the girl to be, he answered “Anything is fine”. A contrast to this becomes clear if you look at a prospective bride’s profile. Most girls seem to require/expect the boy to be a double graduate and the most common one being a bachelor’s degree in engineering and a master’s degree in management. If the girl is in the field of medicine, her expectation is no less than a surgeon or a high profile doctor. I also realized that I know many people who are of the same age as I am or even senior to me who are still bachelors. I am now sometimes forced to think that, maybe they are bachelors because they do not have a choice. However I am still not able to understand the reason for this problem. Is there really a shortage of girls? Or is it that the girls out there do not want to get married? I have read about the increasing gap between the number of boys to number of girls but is this the cause for this problem? I thank God that I am one of those lucky individuals who got arranged married without ever understanding the prevalent perils.

Arranged marriage has always been considered the safest, but now, even finding a bride seems difficult and marriage comes only after that. So one solution I can think is, instead of all this waiting, searching, disappointment in arranged marriages, love marriage seems a better option. Every boy, I think, should give the same importance to marriage as he gives to education and career, if he doesn’t want to take the risk of remaining a bachelor for life. Another potential solution for people who have already zeroed in on arranged marriage is to first select a girl looking for all other items on the list except for horoscope. Since it’s the horoscope which is the real horror, generate a new horoscope using one of those internet sites, synching it with the selected girl’s horoscope. Whatever might be the solution, arranged marriages no more seem to be an attractive process either for the parents or for the grooms themselves.


- Narendra V Joshi

The Crutches

The bus stopped on the barren village road blowing the dirt and dried leaves around. The driver got out and turned around to help the passenger get down. The crutches of the passenger came out first as he put his leg forward and positioned his arms on the crutches thanking the driver. He took a few steps forward as the bus moved, blowing the settled dust all around again.

The crutches seemed to fit him well as his sweaty hands moved them forward and his one leg followed to meet them. The country road lay in front of him with green fields on either side as he started threading the familiar path. He saw many familiar faces but continued without stopping. He finally stopped in front of a depleted structure which was once his home. Some parts of the wall and roof were still there, but the rest of the house lay completely burnt. Pictures and voices of his days in the village crossed his mind.

This was the place he was born and it was his village as he would often say. He worked at a farm which was passed on to him when his father died. He, his wife, his two year old son and his mother now stayed at the old house. His wife and sometimes his mother would help him in the field as any other typical family in the village. The villagers traveled to the city, for selling their produce and procuring resources, which was an hour’s distance from the village.

Though on the surface it looked a sleepy village, there was turbulence beneath. There had been a spike in naxal activity in the area. Rumors of shootings in nearby villages, sightings of armed men in their own village, posters and writings on the walls had all called for a formation of a village defense committee in which he was an active member. The committee members formed small groups, and the groups took turns to patrol the village after dusk. Though there never was an incident in their own village, the rumor was, someone in the village was secretly supporting the naxals and an attack was just around the corner.

On one such patrol, he and his associate had happened to overhear a conversation between a man from their village and some people whom they figured were naxals. They tried to raise an alarm but were spotted by the naxals who followed them into the village. He ran towards his house, shouting all the way trying to alert the villagers. His associate had run away in the other direction. He had managed to reach his house and lock the door behind him. The naxals who were close behind him locked his house from outside and had lit the house on fire.

A single drop of tear flowed down his cheek as he stood in the burnt house recalling the day which had changed his life. A part of the roof and the wall had collapsed on them as he tried to rescue his family from the fire and that was all he remembered of that day. He had regained conscious in the city hospital after 3 days in coma, only to find out that he had lost one leg, his wife and his mother in the fire. His associate who was with him on that fateful day was also killed. Only his son survived and was now looked after by the village headman and this was the reason he was in the village today. He had vowed to himself, never to set foot in the village or talk about what happened that day. He had never told anybody that the village headman was the person who was with the naxals. The very thought of his son, being cared by the same person who had killed his family, sent shivers down his spine. He had spent many sleepless nights in the hospital with nightmares of his son growing into a gun wielding leader of the naxals, setting houses on fire.

He started towards the village headman’s house. “No arguments, no confrontations”, he said to himself. He had planned this whole scene. He will take his son and settle at a place far away from this village. He would never discuss with his son as to how his mother had died. Very soon he reached the headman’s house. Contrary to his own, this house was big and beautiful. He went near the door to call out the headman when he saw his son for the first time in many days. Tears of happiness rolled down his cheeks as he saw the boy crawling around the room. It was a beautiful sight as he stood motionless with only love in his heart, wanting to hold his son, wanting to hold a part of himself. He tried to call out stretching his arms. The whole world blackened on him when he realized crutches were all, his hands could hold. The burden of his heart pulled him to the ground as he wept. He had got everything he wanted, only to lose it all the very next moment. Unaware of all this, the boy happily played with his expensive toys with his baby sounds filling the room. The headman’s wife was behind the boy feeding him with a silver spoon as he crawled all around. It was a beautiful sight from the swollen eyes of his father who lay outside crawling to position his crutches. Maybe the sound of the crutches caught the boy’s attention when he crawled to the door to look at the man with the crutches standing out. The man outside, got up and looked into those beautiful eyes. He just wanted to hold the baby but deep down inside he knew he will do the boy no good by taking him. He could never afford such expensive toys, feed him with a silver spoon or even provide for a decent life for the boy. All his nightmares seemed trivial now as he turned back to thread the dry path again.


~Narendra V Joshi

The delivery

He had only been driving for a minute before he came to a stop again. The road in front of him looked like a series of red lights. He again read the address on the paper and felt he needed another 15 - 20 minutes to reach the place if the traffic felt smooth. He had been to that same place a few weeks back. The fourth exit and then second right from where he was, would take him to a lonely stretch. A mile on that road and he would be at the place. He still had about 25 minutes but the traffic in front concerned him.

Though it was the shortest route, he always wanted to avoid this road due to the crawling traffic. But it was only now that he realized he’d been counting on it. He looked at the square box next to him. He had to deliver it to the address on the paper and he had to do it in the next 25 minutes. It suddenly looked like the world was trying to stop him from doing it and it frightened him more. He decided to take the first exit he reached and then make through the smaller road to that lonely road. That first exit was on his immediate right and he was already ahead of it by a few feet. Without wasting any time he took a sharp risky turn barely missing the concrete wall and tried to join the exit lane. A ticket was sure, if a cop had caught him in the act. He could sense the anger of the drivers from all the honking cars around him but this “had to do” situation had left him with no option. He drove fast to smoothly merge into the exiting traffic. His noisy rattling car had carried well. Again he started driving in the direction of the address and this time it was better, he was moving.

He drove for the next few minutes and the road seemed to be becoming lonelier. He wasn’t sure whether he had already reached or was yet to reach somewhere near, where the fourth exit would take him. The highway was no where in sight but he felt he was still in the right direction. He had never done this road before. The only part of the road he could see was lit by his car lights. Every thing was pitch black on each side with black lines extending into no where. Once in a while when he was closer he could make out the trees around him but there were no signs of any human life. He had another 10 minutes left with him and he knew he was lost.

Where was he? He should have at least brought a map.

Soon he knew he was just driving in the dark, heading no where. He had only 4 minutes left and the only way he could deliver the box in time was if a miracle happened which would put him right in the door way of the house he was searching. He gave up all hopes and decided to go back and take the crawling highway again. This was the only option left and he knew he had lost on the delivery. He stopped the car to look around him. There was nothing except darkness. He turned the car to head back to the highway when something shiny caught his eye. It was a sign board.

The road name on the sign board was same as the road of his address and directed towards his right. There was no sign of any road on the left. He realized the road he had taken had brought him at the other end of that lonely road and he now had to take that road but check on the opposite side for the house.

He started driving in that direction and he was once again in the dark country side. He drove for a few minutes when he saw a light at a distance; a trace of life, at last. He immediately recognized the house as he approached it. It was the same house he had come a few weeks back and it was the same house that was on his paper.

He parked the car in front of the house and walked towards the door with the box in his hand. He pressed the door bell and waited for the door to be opened. A lady opened the door and seemed to point towards the wall clock in the neatly laid room.

“You are late. I cannot pay” she said as she took the box from him.
“Enjoy your pizza ma’am” he said, and turned back to drive into the darkness again.



~Narendra V Joshi

Perils for a Software Engineer

I was trying to negotiate a deal for a new apartment with this sales representative. (SR)

SR: No, sir you don’t know the prices at which apartments are sold these days.

Me: But this is stupid pricing. How can you expect a common man to pay such huge prices for an apartment?

SR: Sir, this is a great deal. We have lots of customers who are ready to pay more than this. If you lose this, you will repent later. You can never again get such cheap deals.

Me: This is not cheap. You are trying to sell me something between earth and sky. I can understand if this was for a piece of land but if this is the price for some space in air, this is ridiculous.

SR: Sir, there are lot of people willing to pay more and buy this apartment. More over you say you are a software engineer. You should not be the one complaining about high prices.

Me: What do you mean I should not be the one complaining about the price? I am struggling day in and day out to make a living.

SR: I know; even we struggle. You work in software; your salaries will be very high compared to ours. And if you people start complaining what should we do?

I fell silent. His words were not uncommon. The land prices, house rents etc in Bangalore have become really absurd these days. The land lords check if you are working for a software company and if you are, the prices are doubled and more so if you are working for a famous company. They don’t want to know what your salary is, but just want to know whom you are working for. And if yours is a variable pay structure, you are doomed. You should rather go to the next apartment on your search list, than stand there and explain the concept of variable pay to these people.

Even if you make up your mind and take out your most recent pay slip to explain, can you really do that? Variable pay constitutes 30-40% of the salary and the pesky gross salary which people outside refer is really what you get when your variable component is 100%. How can you expect somebody to digest the fact that your company always makes profit and exceeds market expectations but the variable component is mostly 60-70%? It doesn’t matter how the company performs, bonus is a small fixed component in the salary. Gratuity is also a part of the gross salary and very few people are aware of the fact that an employee should have completed a minimum numbers of years of service at the same company before he can get his gratuity amount. If he doesn’t stay that minimum number of years, he will loose that entire component. Then there will be those interest free loan components. If you take a loan you cannot quit the company till you repay it, and if you don’t take the loan you have to take pains to explain the huge difference between your gross and your net salary.

At least this concept of variable pay should be adapted through out the system. Everything should be made variable. Home rent, apartment price, land price etc. If your company pays you 70% of the variable components then your rent should also be cut to 70%. If you by chance get 100%, then you will pay 100%.

Anyway I did not have my latest salary slip on me nor was I in mood to explain all this to the sales representative. I told him that I will get back to him on this in a few days and ended the conversation.

~Narendra V Joshi

And the headlines…

I was talking to a friend of mine and came to know that there was a proposal to tax the ESOP’s under the new budget proposal in India. I came home and got down to read the details on an online newspaper.

And there it was; the headlines of the day “Anna’s body flown in to Bahamas”; in bold. I looked around for the budget news and found this “Blair’s love Indian food”. The billion dollar question for the day was quick to find. It was “Abhishek-Ash to marry in Jodhpur? ” Finally I found the much needed topic “India Inc disappointed with Budget”.
It was really annoying. A very important topic like the budget and other finance news are at a corner. You have to really search to find them. News such as “What happened to Britney’s hair” or “Why is restaurant food bad?” is more prominent. I am not saying that nobody in the world is interested in these but, they are definitely not so important compared to the news of ESOP tax or stock market index. And it is not only with this newspaper nor was this the first time. I have faced this situation earlier too. I would want some important info, but will have to search through a maze of junkies. What has a common man got to do with where will Abhishek and Ash get married; unless of course he is invited for the marriage.

I think there is a problem with the way the media thinks and portrays the world to us. They design and tell us what to read and what is important for us. If the editor feels who wore what at the Oscars is more important than which highway is closed due to a car crash, then that is the headlines for the day. If the editor has a personal grudge against a political party or hates a sport, they stop at nothing to bad mouth them. A prominent news channel had predicted that the ruling party would lose the Gujarat state election in India. Even after a year, articles and news bits continue to appear in that newspaper trying to demean that government which won with a clean majority; many a times I have noticed, for no apparent connected reason. What this means is that people who are loyal to one newspaper would be spoon fed to think in the way the editor or the columnists wants them to think. Readers will skip a movie, or, go to a restaurant blindly based on the rating given in their favorite newspaper.

Maybe, blaming the media is not fully correct. The media focuses more on things which are in demand. If the public demand for what Angelina wore in her latest movie is more than how many people died of starvation in a remote country, then Angelina’s dress will be in the headlines. Leave an old copy of a film magazine and a new copy of a science magazine on a park bench and go back after an hour. You will find the film magazine missing but nobody would have even touched the science stuff. How many times have you found yourselves in parties or get together where you discuss about state laws or university education? Most of the time, discussions will revolve around the football team or a favorite show on TV. With this being the case who has the time to read the new laws or the budget highlights I was searching for?

The public accepts what the media gives and the media gives what the public demands. Blaming the entire system for this sorrow state I got back to the news on the Indian budget. It was a lengthy article with some bulleted items. I finished the first paragraph and thought to myself “Maybe the Blair’s might have found Indian food spicy”.


~Narendra V Joshi